What’s Your Relationship Dealbreaker?

By | November 10, 2014

We are social beings.  Primarily one of our goals is to be connected to others – for some it may be one special person, others enjoy the company of many. So it is when it comes to relationships; we have a desire to love and be loved in return. But sometimes things go wrong; we lose sight of the person we first met and things we used to find loveable or cute now become annoying.  Perhaps we sabotage the relationship because at some level we feel ourselves to be unworthy of a primary attachment.  Or maybe seek the company of others in a bid to fuel our ego and make ourselves feel better when we don’t feel we are getting our needs met anymore.

Maybe your partner is sabotaging the relationship and you’ve had enough.  You witness little “problems” and turn a blind eye.  But then instinctively other things start to happen – he / she is on the phone or the computer more than usual, staying out more often or working late.  You start to believe that your partner may be straying or lying to you about their whereabouts and red flags start to show themselves.  As a result perhaps your behaviour becomes more erratic or uncertain, you question your partner who denies any wrongdoing.

At this point you might start to formulate a get-out plan or decide to confront your partner.  But first, what is your dealbreaker?  It could be any number of the following:

1. Lack of Trust
2. Lying
3. Infidelity (if this is the case, how far do you take it? Talking to someone else? Going for coffee / a meal? Touching them on the shoulder / shaking hands?  Kissing? Cuddling? Sex?
4. Drinking
5. Smoking
6. Idleness
7. Poor personal hygiene
8. Lack of effective communication

Whilst some of these may be far fetched, they can feature as dealbreakers for some couples.

What is your dealbreaker and how would you communicate this to your partner?

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